I know that there are more good moments than bad ones. Logically, the good ones must outweigh the bad, right? But clearly the bad ones are the ones that involve far more emotion and therefore stick out to us the most.
I'm writing right now because of a GOOD moment. One that I want to remember no matter what happens during the bad ones, because it reminds me of why I love the man I love.... and why I hang on the way I do, for dear life, even at the risk of losing every ounce of my sanity in the process.
I was in here doing something and I got one of those, "Hey, can you come here?" calls. You know the kind? The nonchalant ones that you KNOW aren't for anything in particular because they simply want you to stop what YOU are doing because they themselves don't want to get up. Not ten minutes earlier we had exchanged a word or two about something that at this moment I can't even freakin' remember because that's how trivial it was... but of course, that's common isn't it? So I had a choice to make. Get up or stay seated.
I got up and stomped over to our bedroom, which is where CombatBoots was calling me from. I stood there glaring at him with a hand on my hip, poised to ask, "What do you want now, dang it?" and before I could, he looked up at me with those big, beautiful, honey-colored eyes and extended those long, lean arms because.... brace yourselves folks!... he wanted me to come in there so that he could hug and hold me for a minute or two amidst all the craziness and tempers and hectic ridiculousness of our lives.
It was one of those tiny, tender moments during which I, PaintedToes, fell in love with my dear, sweet CombatBoots all over again. And it reminded me that I signed up for this for the long haul... for better or for worse. And that even though there's a LOT going on with him that I possibly won't ever fully understand, he still loves me... and he still smells great and feels damn good to snuggle up next to (when we hadn't had any contact in a good week or two... but I'm sure you guys know how that goes as well).
Thank you, God, Fate, other Powers that Be, for this blessed, wonderful, preciously tender moment of peace.